In relationships, there’s a big difference between “seeing” and “listening.”
It is very healthy for couples to respect each other’s privacy.
One of the most important duties of a spouse, is to help his/her spouse protect his/her dignity. Part of that is helping the spouse protect his/her secrets.
There will inevitably be things that a spouse will feel uncomfortable sharing. Our job is to protect that sensitive area, and help our spouse keep it private.
People put up psychological curtains to hide and protect certain sensitive information and emotions. Tearing down your partners curtains is wrong. It is not right to poke around where we are not invited.
Our responsibility to each other is to be sensitive to each other’s sensitivities, not to try to fix them. To fix them is a therapist’s job, not a spouse’s.
When we marry someone, we marry all of them, including theirs masks, curtains, and sensitivities.
Humans are selfish beings by nature, we all look after ourselves, we are constantly protecting ourselves. We get offended, and we offend easily. So what makes relationships possible?
In order to have relationships, we must raise our spiritual values above the material. And that is what Judaism is all about.