What does it mean that marriage makes you “one”?
Adam and Eve were created as one back to back. Then G-d separated them so that they could come together and become one face to face.
As humans, we can become one because we were originally created as one, so we are just going back to our nature.
Marriage is a union of becoming one.
A man can say, “I love everything about my wife,” but does he love her?
He is married to different things about her; to her looks, her funny personality, her money, her mother, etc.
Who is she if you take away all these things?
No mother needs love from her children but every mother needs her children’s love.
She can’t get their love from anyone else.
The same is true with a husband and wife. Of course he loves her and everything about her, but he only loves all of that because it’s from her.
Consequently, because he loves her, he’ll even love the things he doesn’t necessarily like.
To be married you have to be joined to each other by removing all things. You are not married because of any thing at all. Do we need each other for anything? No, it was never about any thing.
Focus on loving your spouse as themselves, and not because of any specific thing about them. Because as soon as you love the thing more than you love them, they don’t matter to you anymore.