Maybe I’ll Never Get Married


Banish that thought from your head, right now!

Rest assured that the other half of your soul is out there. G-d originally created Adam and Chava as one body. Their subsequent separation was only for the purpose of their eventual reunification. So too, everyone has their other half waiting for them.

This is why we must shift our perspective. Your spouse is out there, because you are meant to be married to one another. It’s preordained.

Therefore, how much longer can you remain separated? G-d will surely bring you together. It is G-d’s will that it should happen and so it will happen.

In the meantime, stay focused.

Don’t think about marrying a man or marrying a woman. Focus on finding your husband or your wife. The verse in the Torah says “a man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife” (Genesis 2:24) – not to a woman.

This is why women should not be thinking about men and men should not be thinking about women. It isn’t nice and it isn’t kosher. Your job is only to look for your spouse.

Sure, you can make a list of the qualities you’d like in a spouse. But don’t take your list too seriously.

A shadchan didn’t call you back? Ok, so call another shadchan. It is not up to them. Only G-d can determine whom you marry and when it happens.

The only variable is through which channel your bashert will arrive. He or she might come through this shadchan or through that shadchan or not through a shadchan at all!

G-d has many emissaries, but remember that it is only G-d who calls the shots.

We need to think rationally. Rational thinking means recognizing that I’m probably typical. If the vast majority of people find a spouse, then I will too.

Don’t pay attention to statistics and don’t entertain scary thoughts about never getting married. Trust in G-d and stay focused on your individual mission.

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